Above All Else, Panic

by Duane Rollins The 24th Minute

A handy fan’s guide to tonight’s MLS contest at BMO Field
As a guide to Toronto FC fans going to tonight’s game against Chivas USA The 24th Minute is providing this handy guide to protect your mental health and happiness.

The guide is broken down into three sections: pre-game, in-game and post game

Pre-Game
Prior to the game it is important to keep expectations as low as possible. You should under no circumstance express hope that Toronto can win the game. Keys to maintaining the right cynical balance are to mutter to yourself, utilize as much profanity as possible and drink flat beer from dodgy Parkdale establishments. If at any time you start to feel positive, please read any of about 200 threads at the Red Patch Boys forum that will explain how you are a sucker for supporting TFC, that MLSE is actually a satanic front and that John Carver couldn’t coach your kid’s u-4 co-ed league team to victory. That will put you back in your place.

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